GLS
Consulting, Inc. 31% of women reported that work has not affected their
life negatively, or that it has had a positive effect.
These women thought that
the enjoyment they got from their work improved their relationships, inspired
their children, and expanded their social network:
“Yes. My husband and I don’t
see each other as much, but it actually makes us appreciate one another a lot
more. Also when I’m happy at work (and for me, busy=happy), it has a halo
effect on our relationship.”
“My work has broadened my
social life through the contacts made and diversity of people met. My work has
empowered my sons to explore fuller lives. They see a powerful woman who is
happy and enjoys her work, while also enjoying parenthood.”
“Not really. Most of my
colleagues embrace the same values of a challenging work place as well as
enjoying our free time.”
65% of women reported that work has a negative impact
on their life. They experience strain in their personal/marital life.
It affects personal/family time, and their romantic or community life.
·
Some found that it prevented them from having a personal
life outside of work:
“What social life? Nada.
“Yes, I don’t have much of a
social life, and limited time to visit my family (who live in a different
country.)”
“It has put a tremendous strain
on my marriage as I’m always at work or working from home including weekends,
Saturdays are mandatory to be in the office. It’s also restricted my ability
to have remote family members visit and vice versa. I’ve put a moratorium on
people visiting! I also find that I’m more disconnected with people
socially-if you are not living and breathing the startup way of life, it’s
very hard to understand what someone is going through and how utterly
preoccupied they are with creating a successful company.”
“The extreme demands preclude a
life outside the company and balance is often tossed out the window in favor of
moving a project ahead.”
·
Others attempted to surround themselves with people who
understand the choices they have made about how to include work in their lives:
“YES. I’m seeking further
friendships inside my career path and a next and last husband that understands
my career including NOT wanting to stay home with children. I’m seeking a man
with core technologies that are scaleable as change is ever constant!”
“I am a recovering workaholic;
work has dominated my entire adult life. I have no children because work was
more important (and interesting) to me. Most of my friends are work-centric too.
I have learned to take vacations and to balance my daily life with non-work,
personally fulfilling activities, and I encourage my employees to do the same.
However my identity is very much wrapped up in my work, and I resent it when
people generalize that only men feel that way.”
·
Some women found that it was impossible to get away from
their work even during their free time:
“Yes, Its hard to re-focus your
mind after working so intensely and under deadlines. It’s often hard to unwind
and shut off my brain.”
“Of course work has affected my
social and family life. My husband and I eat out (too) frequently, because we
get home too late to make dinner. We rarely take long vacations, because it’s
hard to coordinate our schedules and we don’t have complete control of
workflow. The “24/7ing” of life means that there’s no clean
boundary between work and home, making it harder to mentally break away from
work (which is already hard with a demanding career, because a lot of the work
in your head and comes and goes with you).
Also, so much of the new economy is built around networking that our
social life has a strong work-related emphasis. And when you work hard and long
hours, you lose all spontaneity in your social life, because everything that
isn’t work has to be scheduled. (Again, that’s partly due to the collapse of
boundaries between work and home life.)”
·
Women also reported that working in the new economy
precluded or destroyed romantic relationships:
“Not now that I’m single
again. When working 60+ hour weeks and traveling, my marriage fell apart.”
“Always stressed, unable to
give any real time to a relationship with a significant other.”
·
Women were also concerned about the stress working in the
new economy put on their family:
“Very stressful on family when
I work long hours or put in time on the weekends because when I’m stressed it
affects my family in a negative way.”
“Yes. My children told me that
they don’t see enough of me. And work makes it very difficult to attend their
activities at school. They think I
don’t care about them. And that is definitely not true. My work environment
only wants people that can become indentured servants to them. They can call me
at the blink of an eye and I will do anything they want. They don’t respect
people that have family commitments. And sometimes, people who stand up against
them and put their family first get laid off or fired. “
“I work a lot from home
evening/weekends and sometimes my kids get irritated (but I tell them that’s
better than staying late at the office). I have been adamant about trying to
balance my work/family life and have not let work take over, but I feel I have
paid a price because I’m not always physically there.”
·
Other women were resigned to manage the negative impact that
work has on the rest of their lives:
“It did because I let it. I
used to work the 80- hour days and drop everything at a moment’s notice. I
learned that it didn’t help me get any more done. In fact, I got taken
advantage of. So-now I’ve set
clear boundaries and you know what? The business respects it. This doesn’t
mean that I don’t go the extra mile for special projects or during crunch
times-but it is not my regular operating model.”
Summary of effect on
personal/family life:
The paradox for women is that they love what the new economy has done for their ability to achieve in the workplace, yet women pay a high price. For those women who don’t experience difficulty, we sense it is because they have blended, rather than balanced, their work lives. They have married men they met in the workplace, or have no trouble with the office operating from their dining room table. However, this does not work well for the majority of women who experience conflict regarding what they have to give up. For the generation of women before, the trade-off was iron-clad. The rules of the game were that you had to give everything up in order to reach the glass ceiling; there were no alternatives. Women are now seriously questioning society’s demands. Cannot we as a society socially reconstruct the workplace so that women do not have to choose between achievement and raising a family.
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